Yellow… Scott here… just got back from some running with Scholes and Dobbs… we did 4 miles… kind of pushed the tempo for the last part and I was pretty tired. Things are going well. Today was a rainy-grey day and I was feeling a little down. I think it was just the weather. I find myself missing this past summer some… I just got some good Bluecoats pictures and I guess it just sparks my memory. I can remember when the pictures were taken and how I felt at the time: tired, sore, thirsty, hot, and sweaty… so how is it that I look at the pictures and think how much I would like to be back in my shoes then? I think its interesting how we can look back on tough situations and see the good times more than the bad. I remember hiking Philmont (an 11-day trek in the mountains of New Mexico) and I thought it was really tough and crappy for a lot of the trip, but I look back on it as one of the coolest trips I have ever taken. It gave me confidence and a new outlook on my senior year oh high school… and its cool because I’ve done something similar with the Bluecoats… I’ve done something really challenging that has helped me get a fresh new look at this school year, I guess I am just getting impatient for things to start actually getting better… then again… I know that every year so far at UT I have always been really optimistic for the first month of school or so because I think things are going to change, that girls’ tastes might change to accommodate me somehow… or that I might make some kind of connection with a girl in one of my classes, and it always happens that I get let down and I let it bug me… I get lost in the sea of everyday classes and routines and life turns from a world of opportunity to a grey fog where I am no longer in control.

I’ve looked forward to my senior year of college for along time because I knew that this would be the year that I knew the most people, had the most connections, felt the most confident and thusly this would the most likely time that I would be possibly meeting a girl? I mean… I’m not saying I was expecting to find some kind of life-mate or anything… I was just thinking that I might make my emergence on the dating scene on some level. Just maybe… take some girl out, buy some dinner, see a movie… and if that's it, it didn’t work out, that's fine… at least I could say that she got a chance to know me and it didn’t work out. That would be good. I actually just think I’m one of those people who becomes more well rounded and stable with some form of relationship. Take Kristin… she was all sad and self conscious her freshman year… then she met Jeff and became like a totally different person. Much more outgoing, she did more fun stuff, she started wearing stuff other than baggy clothing (she never was fat at all… I guess its just a girl thing?), and has taken up her passion of dancing again which she had quit before she met Jeff… there are several other cases of this, but you know what I am talking about… it doesn’t like totally complete you as a person, but it adds a level of stability and inner comfort (from what I can tell watching other peoples relationships). I don't know… its just getting to be that time of year when I give up and just go back to doing what I know how to do best- be femaleless.- Later- Scott