better

i'm doing much better today. We had our fraternity formal last night which was actually a really good time.. it lasted from 8pm to 2am but most were gone by 1, but i mean... for a good 4 hours there it was a blast. I still get really spooked with the whole dancing thing, even when there is a pretty girl tring to drag me out there by the hand... its just scary! i mean... its like i'm terrified of flying and the dance floor is an airplane... but i think it was a good time. Today my leg has been feeling a little better and i ran a really solid 3 miles and my legs felt pretty decent the whole time, and the last mile or so was great. I was actually going fast enough now to work up a good sweat which before was not really happeneing because my legs kept me from going very fast... but its a modest improvement that i'm happy to see. i just got started on an herbal suppliment which has the same active ingredient as "cortislim" and "relacor"... you know- the stuff that blocks cortisol... well it might very well be the case that what happened to my stomach (the marks) and the redistribution that has occured in the last 6 months are due to something known as "cushings syndrome" which can either be brought on by severe stress, exogenous corticosteroids (like a prednisone pack or something- i can explain if you want), or some combination of the two... the result is a continuous overproduction of cortisol from your body which leads to sodium and (therefore) water retention, swelling, increased abdominal/face/neck fat, thinning of the arms and legs, weakness, large purple marks on the abdomen (that look exactly like mine unfortunately), insomnia, and some mood disorders... and i'd say i've experienced all but 1 of those (unless you think i've been moody, which in that case, i've been experiencing all of them)... the good news is that these things are reversable over time, but the bad news is that it takes a minimum of 8 months and up to 14 before the body re-adjusts and fixes these problems (except for the purple marks which i'm afraid i might be stuck with for awhile... i just guess i better develop any potential relationship for awhile before i reccommend we go swimming together! but thats ok- i'm not that vein)... BUT... it could be possible with an appropriate anti-cortisol type suppliment that this recovery process could be sped up... which would be a start... so i'm looking forward to what this might mean for me... i'm feeling alittle better already, and the returned strength in my legs i'm thinking is not a coincidence... so i'm going to stick with this for awhile....

and i'm doing better... sometimes i just feel particularly rough about something and those are often the times that i feel like expressing myself in blog-form... so it might not give a good picutre of the situation...

i went to Macey's yesterday and got some new pants and a new dress shirt and a really cool tie... and i wore those to the formal- it felt good to have those nice clothes, and coupled with the cool shoes i got a month or so ago, i was looking pretty snazzy if i do say so myself.... i felt good about it. I am in this one funny picutre with about 6 girls... that was fun... and Chun and Aryan were both telling me today that they were really impressed that i was able to talk to so many girls and be engauging (i didnt really feel like i did that great- but i did ok... i guess its really more about how you present on the OUTside in terms of confidence and stuff than how you feel on the inside?)- so that was nice of them.. Chun actually grabbed this girl and took her out on the dance floor and we were all chering him on- it was great. I was really happy for him.

Right now i'm in a tough spot with the house... i'm officially the new house manager- and there are two guys leaving at the end of the semester- so two spots to fill.. One guy is leaving the master bedroom on the second floor which occupies 320 square feet... not bad for a bedroom... the other is leaving a more normal sized room (still actually larger than my room at my house in MJ) at 182 square feet... BOTH of the new guys are fighting for who will get the big room... and there just isnt a clear cut winner... i know who i WANT to get the room, and i even happen to think that he is also the one who DESERVES to be in the big room- but i just dont want to be biased... the other guy is 27 and did a term of service with the marines and he can be pretty intense... and he REALLY wants the big room... and he is the guy i'm probably going to have to break the news to... noooot really something i'm looking forward to... it should be interresting... but i still get my fortress on the 3rd floor all to myself... so no matter what happens- i still win... and in the end.. isnt that whats most important? ha