home alone- in memphis

Just got done watching ‘pride and prejudice’ up here in my top floor room at the PDC house… I thought it was good… certainly looking at romance from the female perspective- I can understand why so many girls insist that it would be a good read… and I don’t doubt that it would be. It was a good movie- and I don’t presume to be an expert on the book now, but at least I know the storyline now. I really liked the direction of the movie, and how all the scenes fit together so fluidly- must have taken a great deal of careful planning to make it seem so natural…

I’d be lying if I said things weren’t lonely around here…. I posted about half a page on that subject on the MJ blog, but you know… I just don’t want to go there- so I deleted it. I’m tired of playing that role, even if it doesn’t feel like playing at all. I can really tell a big difference without my pharmacy buds around- at least we could all sit around together and watch movies and talk and feel sorry for ourselves as a TEAM... ha...

Ryan (who has left for the weekend, leaving me entirely alone in a 4,000 square foot, 3-story wooden house that’s over 100 years old…but I’m cool) is getting married in 2 weeks… we all got invitations for us “plus a guest” and first he said he thought it would be good if we brought dates, so me and Chun and Aryan sat around and tried to figure something out… so at first both of them thought of girls they could ask and I was the odd one out, and then I was like “well… I mean… I know a girl from church back home I could ask” and I did and she said that would be fine, but I just got this “that’s odd that you’re asking me” vibe... and then when I told them we were all good to go, they both told me they had backed out of their parts… and now I think I’m the odd one out again because I’m the only one bringing someone… so confusing… I’ve got 2 weddings to go to that day. Jeremy and Marie are getting married too (from my church back home)… they are such a cute couple and I’m sure it will be an awesome wedding… I’m very happy for them- and Ryan and Emily too, I don’t know Emily as well- but she seems very nice… it was always amusing to me to watch Ryan perk up on the phone every night when he got to talk to her- and how his voice kind of gets higher pitched to match hers- I’m not sure if he realized he is doing it or not.

My new job at Rite Aid is fun—its less than a mile away from Graceland. I had never really been to the south side of town before, but its not so bad- one thing I can say is that everyone just seems to drive with their eyes closed down there… I can count three times already that I’ve thought someone was going to cause an accident around me- and I’ve only been to work 3 days now. You could say I’m an ‘intern’… this is different from the months of ‘rotations’ I’ll do later… for starters this one is not school sponsored and I get paid, and the other ones are, and I don’t… I asked him on the first day what he wanted me to wear… “a shirt, tie, and your white coat”… and that’s fine by me, but its just slightly more pressure/responsibility… first of all, all the other workers (“techs”) are faced with this person that they’ve never met that ‘supposedly’ knows more about drugs than they do… and they’ve been there for 9 years- and you’re just a kid to them…. AND… when you have that thing on, everyone assumes you know everything- and… I don’t know everything… there are many things I can speak with a moderate amount of authority, but there are many things that I still just freeze up on… I need to go over my vitamins some more… this one lady came to the counter with some questions about 3 different vitamins, and the pharmacist gave her a 10 minute discussion on them, and I of course did my best to listen in to answer the question: “could I have done that if she asked me instead?”… and I wouldn't have done too hot on that—I mean I may have come to the same conclusion he did in answering her questions, but I wouldn't have been able to do so with the same amount of ease and confidence and with as many helpful tidbits of information along the way… oh well… and the thing about their prescription bags… they don’t have the medication, strength, dosing, or number of refills on the outside anymore after some new gov’ment regulations… so when you ask “do you have any questions about your prescriptions” when you’re handing them the drugs, and they say “Yes”… you’re going off a blank slate because you haven't had a pre-glance to run through the drugs in your head before you ask--- so I don’t know if I’m going to be answering a question about an AIDS med, or like just an antihypertensive… (big difference)… and by the way, you guys wouldn't BELIEVE the advances that have comes in AIDS treatment in the last 5 or 6 years… I mean… we could totally keep you alive for a very long time with a very high quality of life if you came down with it right now… I’m not saying you should, but its just a dramatic improvement in outcomes compared say, with mid to late 90s, which is really not that long ago… but its cool stuff… but seriously,… don’t get AIDS… , also eat your greens, stay in school, say no to drugs, drink your milk, and do your homework…. Those things are also good to keep in mind…

but yeah…. so I can’t really hide anymore since I have the white coat on…. I’m not saying its horrible, I’m just saying there is a lot more actual thinking involved in “counting pills” than I ever really realized… even when I was in undergrad, I recall thinking…”this being a pharmacist thing isn’t so hard… I mean… all they are really doing is making sure things are accurately filled”… but that’s so far from the truth that its not even funny… someone calls in and says “can I take asprin with that”… “can I drink a few beers with that?”… “I’m pregnant, can I still take ____?”… those are all questions that seem so simple, but when you have to answer definitively and a wrong answer could cause someone serious harm or discomfort… it REALLY changes how much thought you put into the answer before you say it… I couldn’t have fully conveyed that to myself just 3 or 4 years ago as someone working in the pharmacy, so I don’t suspect the meaning will really come across in a blog, but I figured I’d say it anyways… ok its sleepy time….