Scott here…things are good… not much going on today… I had one last test today and I did really well on it. I actually finished about 15 minutes before anyone turned their paper in… I didn’t want to be the first one… and it turns out my friend Kyle who turned his in first finished at about the same time I did but he also didn’t want to be the first… but it was really good. Work is good… I think I’m fitting in a lot better with the other people I work with. We are going to see the Matrix on Thursday… that's going to be awesome… I'm going to go play Frisbee tonight, first time since last Wednesday… that was really fun. We played the university B team and won 13-3 or was it 15-3? Whatever the top score was…. It was really cool because you could tell before the game that they thought they had us beat and we knew we were going to give them a run. The A team came out after we had beat the B team and we playing a quick game to 3. They beat us 3-1 but we were just happy to get a point. It was fun. I’ve also run the last few days and I feel really good… I’m going to try to run about 20 miles a week… so far I’ve been making it about 16 or 17 a week... but I’m stepping up… going to Frisbee now.. I'll be back to write more later…

ok back… some stuff has happened actually but nothing I think I should blog about… the general consensus is that I have been angry recently… and I agree but I wouldn't say that its just 100% Scott… not saying its 100% anyone else… just saying… I feel kind of weird… I’ve been in and out of that “fog of college” mode I’ve written about before… its just hard to see where you are going or where you’ve been… and you feel like you are going in circles… that's just how my college experience feels to me sometimes… I feel a significant lack of “important landmarks” (relating this to the –lost in fog- theme) in my journey… shouldn’t there be some kind of girl somewhere here at UT that I make some kind of connection with even if it doesn’t result in us getting married, I just mean something I can kind of invest some emotion in… or get some emotion out of… I know I’m not gross or ugly or anything… and I think most single folk really know that about themselves, we just need a reminder sometimes… it seems to kind of be a remedy for low self confidence… I’m not saying that having a boyfriend/girlfriend is the cure for low self confidence… its just a little harder to feel bad about yourself when you know someone thinks you are awesome (and Jesse, Josh, or whoever else reads this and wants to say “well I think you are awesome Scott!” - I know you do, and that's really great too but i think you know what I am talking about). Ok well I’m just being stupid… its just kind of late I think… I do that. I’m sorry to whoever I’ve gotten mad at… I think for the most part “its not you, its me”… and hey guys I live with (although you don’t read this)… could we please try to steer away from telling me you think the girl I like is weird? If you haven't figured out by now, I second-guess myself all the time… and I do value the opinions of my friends on the matter of girls… I remember sophomore year josh made a comment about some girl I liked and it totally bothered me and I told him about it later and he said he had just been joking and I couldn’t tell… I think female interest blinds my joking sensors… but really… I know everyone is supportive of me and stuff… but sometimes it’s hard to tell when the only thing I hear is “she’s weird” or comparisons of her to other girls who are supposedly better… I know you are joking most of the time, but sometimes I can't tell… it just makes it easier when you know you have the thumbs up from your friends about a girl… it also makes it easier when that girl likes you… which has yet to be determined in this case… so I’m sure this will be a moot point later… in keeping with tradition of course. There are certainly lots of guys around campus who are of a weaker moral fiber than myself, with bigger muscles,… and most importantly… they are more self confident… because hey… that's just one of those things you gotta look for… because… I mean… what if they didn’t have high self confidence??… they might as well be big stupid goofuses with no personality, no futures, and no redeeming value… or something like that…

“hey Scott… just go down to your local dollar store and purchase some more self confidence… sheesh… its just as easy as wanting to change your personality….”

Yeah… I'll work on that. Stupid girls… who needs ‘em… right? I mean… girls are weak… and emotional… stupid girls… who wants that? Stupid girls…