first day of school

Hey guys… Scott here… just had my first day of school today for the semester! it was fun... we are mostly doing infectios disease which will be the most difficult of the 5 therapeutics classes we have to take over the course of pharmacy school... we are also taking "pharmacogenomics" which is a genetics based course which explains the differences in effect of many drugs due to genetic polymorphisms in the population... should be very informative.

doing mostly better from the emotional roller-coaster that has been the last month of my life. Several times over Christmas I got on here and pretty much wrote down exactly how I was feeling and why… but reading over it before I posted it here, it made me sound really depressed and lonely, and I mean, I don’t want anyone thinking I’ve lost the will to live or anything- far from it. I just think I might be a little TOO good at letting people into my head via written word (and by too “good” you might substitute too “thorough”)…. and sometimes, you don’t need to let everyone know exactly how you are feeling, and I knew I would get better, and I have made a lot of progress. One thing that I have rediscovered is my need for friends. We all had that covered so well in undergrad, and then, due to the nature of the long distance relationship I had with Mandy- I feel like I must have unintentionally distanced some of my friends… and I think that kind of distance would probably be understandable for say, a couple that was like engaged or something of that nature… I suppose I took things too seriously… but over my entire first year of pharmacy school, I never really had to fully commit myself to my friends here in Memphis because I always had Mandy… and I always knew that if things went sour with friends here, I would have her to make me feel better and whatnot, but recently, I think I’ve just really had to take notice that I made a big space for her in my life, and that space turned into a hole, and more specifically a hole that I haven't come close to filling yet, but I’m working on it. I know that is easy for lots of people and finding exciting things/people/activities can be quick fixes for that sort of thing, but I think the hole filling part of my brain is a little gimpy cause I’ve always had a hard time with that… but maybe that IS normal? I mean… as I get older, I see more and more people with emotional baggage, and maybe we all have little holes that we never totally get filled… or that we put so far in the back of our memories that we forget they are even there… I’ve just gotta keep working on this leg thing for right now… whatever that means… if I can fix the leg, I can get outside and exercise again, and get my blood pumping again… and maybe feel better about stuff… and regain that passion that I had for running and fitness… I remember feeling like that was a great outlet for emotion, passion, frustration, energy… a way to relieve the pressure that builds up from day to day… try- from JUNE of 2005 to now… I think its about time to find another (healthy) way to do that. Again, let me just say something to those of you with working legs- please use them. It is such a helpless feeling to have doctors tell you not to run or walk or to try either of those things and experience chronic pain… make your legs strong, use them…stretch! It’s a privilege. Trust me.