'can i graduate?'

I found this picture on the PDC website, it was taken last year at the house (that i live at)... for some reason i was giving mary money as she was leaving... it just looks kinda funny... but maybe thats just me?

Well… I’m home again. I’m about half way through my spring break… its been great to spend time with the family and see josh and jesse and other friends… we had a party at josh’s house the first night I got back and that was a blast. I’m going to head back on Saturday afternoon because I’ve got some serious studying to do, but that’s not new. It’s a funny thing being back here in Mt. Juliet… I’ve got a lot of memories here (yeah that’s a given)…it snowed last night (juuuuust a little- enough to tell its snowing, but not enough to really see it on your shoulder) and I was feeling particularly introspective so I just jumped in the car about midnight, and drove around for awhile… I went to Kroger where I used to always go walk around when I was younger… I mean, i’m never there for more than about 20 minutes, but its just like that’s where I go to walk around and think about things. There was nobody there last night…. I got some candy and left. It was really cold! After that I just kind of drove down the main road for a few minutes, not really that far or anything… there wasn’t really anyone on the road then either…

The thing with pharmacy school is this… it takes. It takes and it takes and it doesn’t give anything back… its not glamorous, its not flashy, it promises to be a good ‘investment’ down the road, and it will be… but right now it’s an entirely one sided relationship…. Its not just me, its in everyone. Its like we all like each other, but we all stay at a comfortable distance. So many people, including me, bring their baggage to pharmacy school and just dwell on it. The last girl I asked out- last semester- actually said she did like me, but that she was still so wrapped up in her last boyfriend that she didn’t think she could start something new… and I understand that… I have other close friends that are awesome people, but they just keep hanging on to the past, and I’m just as guilty as any of them… what is it about the past that is so hard to let go of? Are we afraid of the future? Do we just forget the hardships of the past and see it as an easier, rosy time? Maybe some of both… its just that here in this city, I see my past all around me, not really meaning my family, because they will always be my past, present, and future, but it’s the other things… the experiences here… walking down to the high school at night like I did so many times in my youth, just running around my neighborhood…. Driving down a certain road thinking how dramatically different things are now compared to the last time I drove down that road…unlike some people I’ve talked to, I still consider Mt Juliet my home. ‘home is where the heart is’… and I’d say MJ is a much better candidate for that than Memphis, Tennessee… but that’s just me.