so its 3am...

so i just got done with some studying for therapeutics... if only bacteria didnt get resistance and we could just use penicillin on everything... that would make my life so much easier at this point, ha, buts its ok... so i was just checking my computer and noting the fact that my AOL IM program has been on (with afew exceptions) for several days without 1 single message sent my way... i mean, i guess you've gotta be a friend to get a friend, or whatever, but dang... can a brother get a shoutout? (you know how i like those)... on second thought... who else my age even uses AIM any more? ok i take that back, i can name more than afew... so i was trying to think of a good away message to put up... something that really tells how i feel. I had been going with the bill murray "its gonna be cold and grey and last you..." quote from groundhog day for forever and honestly, it probably really did explain how i was feeling at the time, but i'm feeling alittle better... but still not on top of the world... so i considered some song lyrics... but they generally over-do it... like people are either REALLY happy, or REALLY sad, or REALLY angry... and i'm not any of those things at the moment... hmmm... so no song lyrics... thats ok. I randomly started reading through the archives of my blog for some insightful comment i could quote myself on... that would be kinda cool... it would be like a quote, but it would be from me... so i read afew archives... what months did i go to? I went to the months at the end of my senior year at UT because it was at that point i was so stressed about getting into pharmacy school... how different am i now? how much have i changed since then? i know many things have, and its fun to see that. its funny to hear me talk about classes and how i think i would do in them, knowing now what my grades turned out to be... but i digress... i found one entry that grabbed me... it was the story told through my eyes of one of the toughest 48 hours of undergrad... and that because of the fact that my entire life was on the line, i had no choice but to do what i did... it was intense, and i remember it. I just remember feeling so... extreemly... frazzled... i had quit the job i loved to spend more time studying... was going 3 and 4 weeks between seeing my girlfriend at the time, which made things even harder... it was a time when everything hinged on my performance on two days worth of tests... my life had boiled down to 48 hours... i think its actually a pretty good read, and i know thats easy for me to say... but here it is... and if you feel like reading, check it out. its good to be past that and on to different struggles! i doubt this life will ever give much of a reprise from similar situations in the years to come... best thing to do is allow them to make you stronger: Being Scott Malcovitch