yellow

so things are good- i got some good pictures and videos at work today- i MAY put them up... or i may not... i realize that my vidoes have not been of the most exciting things- but i think its the normal, true-to-life things thats are most interresting... like when Ron says "I'm doing Terrible!" thats REALLY how he says it... and when kijijo is trying to talk, it really is hard to try to understand him- i dont like that
1) it takes youtube so long to upload... (why is it only going at 20kb/sec?)
2) i dont like that the quality of the pictures drops big time
3) i dont like that there is a video/audio delay for some reason...

i say "booo" to those things... maybe google video will do better? i'll try!

ohhh so far i like that google lets you upload more than 100mb files! hmmm what else...
ok that is still going slow... but they have a cool desktop program you can use you upload videos... i'm gonna give that a try...

i saw "high fidelity" the other night... i'm actually watching it again now because i liked it so much... it didnt really follow the usual movie twists and turns... i liked how it ended, and i really really like the character that John Cusack plays... really felt like i could identify (yeah, more than the Baxter, J and J!)... i think i'm gonna have to rent Being John Malkovich becuase i havnt seen that yet... other than that... work is ok, and i'm looking forward to this "synovial cyst" thing that i may or may not have... the good news is that if that is what i have it has a good prognosis... the bad news is they dont KNOW that a cyst is what i, in fact, have... i just know it still hurts just as much as it always has- my mind has gotten used to it so i dont really think about it as much as i did... and i'm much more prepared (ibuprofen) than i was the first 6 months... the part that gets me now is that i've almost lost my will to really get out there and push myself... it used to kill me that i couldnt run, but now i've almost just accepted my current situation... i take that back... there's no doubt in my mind that if my leg gets back to normal i'll get back out there... i just dont know whats going to happen... and i dont know how i'm going to be if i'm stuck like this..... its so frustrating... i wish i knew how to explain this whole thing to someone... everyone gets bits and pieces here and there but i dont think anyone knows the whole story... how could they? i think the hardest part has been reverting back to a body type that i tried so hard to run away from in my highschool and undergrad years... and all the feelings that come with it... i feel like i'm in 9th grade again, i feel like "the big guy" again... i just really hope this thursday brings some good news... or just something... i need some good news about this leg thing...