sad cat story...

so.... i got the cat... me and aryan went down to the track and i convinced the cat to come over and i started scratching and/or petting... aryan had a large blue empty cooler about 30 feet away- i occupied the cat and waved aryan to bring the cooler over- as soon as he was right next to me with his hand on the top of the lid, i grabbed the cat (who didnt seem to upset that i was holding him really) and placed him in the cooler and aryan shut the lid! we couldnt BELIEVE how well it went- just like we planned- no problems at all (except maybe the guy running around the track who probably wondered what on earth we were doing in the middle of the night with a cooler on the far side of the field...) ...we made it back to the PDC house and went up to my room- we put the cooler on my bad and i got aryan to man the camera- with video mode that is- ... i opened the lid and after some hesitation the cat jumped out and ran around the room- he jumped up on my bed-side table and knocked off all my drugs... he finally went under my bed... (yeah...video)we got him out later and he went to the other side of the room and sat behind my recliner for a about 20 minutes- i finally crawled over and he just sat there and let me pet him... i even picked him up and we sat on the floor with him in my lap for about 30 minutes... he just kinda seemed really relaxed- probably because he just used up all his adrenaline running around trying to escape my room... but really- he was really pleasant... i held him and scratched his ears and everything was nice... i got aryan to watch him and i went to kroger and got cat food, litter, a box, and a scoop... i got everything ready and set it up over by my door ... then one minute we looked away and he was gone... my door was closed so i knew he was here somewhere... i looked around for a long time but he was nowhere to be found... not even a sound! i ended up even going to bed without hearing a peep... woke up- still no sound or sight of him... went to class... came back... still nothing... i mean there was no place for him to have escaped to... i eventually looked behind the TV and saw his tail- i got down there and convinced him to come out eventually (not really on his own will)- he came out and ran around frantically for another minute and i had to lift the couch up to get him out from under there... i had just taken off my towel from blocking the window and he saw that and ran and jumped at the window hitting it face first and falling down (see? he really wanted out)... i finally cornered him over where the window where he was sitting intenly, stratching at it... i picked him up and held him some and tried to let him know it was all going to be cool and that this was the better life for him... (ok, yeah... he didnt understand...)... did you know that feral (non-domestic) cats have an average lifespan of about 2 years while domestic/social cats average 12-16 years?! (i also read that once a cat is born out the the wild-i.e. without humans- it takes 12 weeks for them to grow and form their little cat view of the world and decide if they are going to be afraid of people for the rest of their lives or be cool- after that they are pretty much set in their ways) i mean crap... i was doing the guy a favor... and he seemed so OK with everyhing when he was in my lap... i could walk around the room, he was very easy going... he EVEN eventually busted out his motor while i was petting him. (yeah this is a video).. but every time i let him go he ran over to the window and sat there all scared like... i tried the night before to feed him and he wouldnt even open his mouth- i got special cat treats!- and he wouldnt touch anything today either- it was sad... he eventually started meowing sadly and kept on trying to get out the sealed window... it was probably about 65 in my room and he was just shaking- i dont even know why... it was in the upper 40s outside... was he just really hungry from missing his diet of bugs (this guy was bigger than a kitten, but there was no way he was going to catch and eat anything that could fly or run away)?? was he just so freaked out from being inside that he didnt know what do to? he was really stressed out- i could see that he was sad- and it was my fault... finally... as much as i loved him, and as much as i thought he/we might eventually profit from our being friends, i decided that he was just too developed to change into an indoor domestic cat... my only solution- i had to let him go- and maybe, if he had learned anything from our 24 hours together up in my room, he would know that humans were cool and that i had free food and i could always pet him and keep him warm and stuff-i could always keep a full bowl of cat food by the back door for him....so i took him down to the back door and set him down to see what he would do- he immediatly bolted off... all the way to the back of our property and behind the fence... it was at that point i realized that i might not see him again...

turns out i was wrong- 3 hours later i was going with Chun to buy presents for the "gift day" we have tomorrow for the p1 pledges, and we were turning left to go to kroger... and i saw the cat over in the grass- only he wasnt moving... i told Chun to pull over and i walked over and saw what i feared most for him- he had been run over by a car and was left by the side of the road...

"oh man... what have i done??...this is all my fault...I can't believe it..."

hindsight really is 20/20... i should have either not captured him at all or at least forced him to get along with us better for 3 or 4 more days before i decided he wanted to go back on the streets... and i should have taken him back to where i got him- i mean... sure there were cars around there too, i guess he was just out of his element and ran out in the street... i can actually see his body from my 3rd floor window here... it makes me sad... i mean its not going to ruin my weekend or anything, dont get me wrong... but i messed up and the poor cat suffered because of my immaturity and poor decision making... i did have good intentions, its just that they weren't enough to make everything go like i wanted-

Todd visited tonight and that was a welcome suprises- he always just sticks his head through my door when i'm hanging out up here in my room and it always really takes me an extra 2 seconds to realize who it is... i mean... the brain is pretty clever- it knows that though the person in my door may look exactly like Todd Burka, it cant be because todd lives in Mt. Juliet- so its like my brain tries to assemble the image i'm seeing into someone that it COULD be- so i was thinking "Brent (a p2)? whats up man...oh wait, thats not brent..."...
we went out to "MOES" and i got some nachos and we had a great time- he gets along really well with Aryan and my other roommates/friends here- i think they can appreciate the fact that he's a pretty sharp cookie- and i'm sure todd has a lot of his "A" game saved up from not being able to use the good material due to either him being by himself in a car or hanging around with people who it might be lost on- co-workers for example- (correct me if i'm wrong, of course)
Aryan, being well versed in the "cool list" controversy of late was asking todd about his shoes and what music he was listening to... i think everything else is OK... i had a test today (no, not therapeutics- which by the way my i'm sitting in B range in that class now... woohoo!) and it was alright... i'm really cold right now...i suppose i should turn on some heat? i dunno... its gonna get warm again tomorrow... maybe i'll just throw on some extra blankets..? (i think you know which option i'll choose...)....
loooots of studying these next 3 days- therapeutics test (50% of my grade) on MONDAY- gotta get pumped up for that (red bulls 3/$5 at exon!).... aaaaaand its sleep time... thanks for reading...